What if......?

What if you and your partner had been dating since college. You've always known that you two would get married and be together forever. Shortly after college you two wed and start a family. Everything is going great, just a few issues here and there but nothing to be alarmed about.

You are 40yrs old and 15yrs into the marriage when one day you meet a total stranger that made your heart skip a beat. It was a random encounter, you would see him/her often but never spoke. Until one day your paths crossed and just from a simple grocery store conversation you felt sparks! Yes, they are attractive but this is more than attraction. You haven't even felt this feeling for your spouse. You reluctantly race to the grocery store everyday in hopes of seeing him/her again. Unbeknown to you, she/he is doing the same thing. Conversation leads to dinner, and more dinners to follow. Before you know it, you are having an affair!!! You have never even looked at another man/woman before but it was something about him/her that was irresistible. It has been a year into the affair and you are realizing that it was not lust, he/she is the one. Do you leave your spouse to be with your soul mate? Or, do you cut off the affair and work on your marriage? You did promise, "til death do us part". What would you do?

He's Not that into You!!

So I've finally seen the movie, "He's Not that into You" and it really had me thinking. I have listed a few of the myths below that the movie spoke of. I am asking the men and women, what do you think? Does it ring any truth to you?

1, If he gives you his number instead of taking yours, he's not into you.

I would kind of agree with this. This means he has no intentions on calling you. But there's exceptions to every rule.

2, If he says he will call you back but doesn't, he's not into you.

To me, this one is tricky. If he fails to call you back often then I would agree, he's not into you. But I wouldn't say that if he forgot once or twice that it meant he didn't like you, maybe he's just "busy". lol

3, A man that tells you he's not into marriage and he doesn't need a piece of paper to tell you he loves you, is not into you. Do men really think this way?

I agree. I feel that when that man finds the right one, he will race to make her his. If he dates you for 10yrs, my guess is he doesn't plan to marry you.

Things that make you go hmmmm....

Can a blind person see their dreams?

Can a person with no eyebrows be surprised?

Can a person with no fingers point me in the right direction?

If a child leaves home in a wheelchair, are they still considered runaways?

Why do you park in a drive-way and drive in a parking lot?

Can a deaf person hear that "inner voice"?

Don't you need a VACAY!!!!

PASS IT ON TO ANY AND EVERYONE!!!!


Check out my exclusive offer to you for being a timeshare holder!!!

Orlando

:3days 4nights in a 2bedroom 2ba villa

:resort amenities: (2 spas, bar, restaurants, shopping, golf, game room, lazy river, massage, and much more...inquire about my pics of the Orlando resort)

:Book by Feb 20, and you will get 2 tickets to your choice theme park, OR $100 gift card for food and beverage.

:All for 199 plus tax. You must hear presentation to get this deal! (it was a tour and I liked it!) You listen to BS all day anyway so you can do it for a $199 trip. lol

Myrtle Beach

:3day 4night 2bed 2 ba suite or hotel if you choose

:Resort amenities (massage, bar, in door and outdoor pool, sauna, kiddy pool, private access to beach, and more)

:2 tickets to medieval times or 2 tickets to the Caroline Opera.
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Call Gratia for questions or to book. 888-636-6522 ext.4574 Gratia (pronounced gree-sha) She knows me by Lakeisha LaFayette (file # 6085161) Tell her I sent you. Be sure to give the file number.

My Hawai'i Vacay!!

Hawaii is very expensive. Do not go there with a few hundred dollars. One activity can run you 200! Have spending money of 500+!! I have wayyy to many pics to post so just check out my facebook link to see them all. I had a blast!! Starting Jan. I will be able to get 5 star hotel or resort accommodations, domestic and international at discounted prices!! I must recommend Hawaii first on your list.

The memories!

(pause my playlist, bottom right sidebar)
Are any of you old enough to remember this song? What memories come to mind when you hear this? Can you think of where you were when you used to listen to this? I was always in the car with my aunt or listening to the radio. I don't even want to reveal how old I was. Ahhhhhh I love this song!!!!

Need a Vacay!!!! Read what I can offer!!

For the upcoming season, the Orlando Vacation package can be a great gift whether you purchase it for your family or your friends purchase it for their families! They will receive 4 days and 3 nights in a two-bedroom, two-bath villa (up to 8 people) at Holiday Inn Club Vacations at Orange Lake Resort* in Orlando, FL for only $199 plus tax! – PLUS Reserve by February 20, 2010 and they receive 2 one-day tickets to the theme park of your choice or a $100 food and beverage gift card! They have up to six months to travel once you purchase the package! Also, we have Myrtle Beach packages available and we’ll be happy to customize any package to specifically meet their needs!

Look into my Eyes (repost)

Off and on throughout my life, I've dealt with insecurities and the feeling of self-consciousness. I now am able to see that all the things I was insecure about or self conscious about are no longer a factor. Not because I feel confident about these plagues, but because I know who I am in HIM and whose I am. It is not important at the end of the day. So I've learned to just be happy in the skin I'm in. I have grown content with my issues. I still have them, but they no longer have me. Today I was hit again with them, but the love of GOD quickly helps me to cope. Here's what I wrote in my time of pain.

If you look into my eyes

you will find a young lady who has the ability

to laugh hysterically and cry uncontrollably

all in a day

You will find the jokester and life of the party

amongst her circle

Look into my eyes and you will find

I'm a mother, wife and friend

someone who puts others before her

loves those who angered her

befriends those who are different from her

brings those to tears in laughter

warms hearts with compassion and sincerity

but look a little deeper

You will find a young girl who still seeks approval

who's pain is deep and tears are shallow

but look a little deeper and you will find

the contentment of my present

the excitement of my future

the pain of my past

look a little deeper and you will find a young lady

who loves people

but wants to be alone (still tryin to figure that one out)

you will see a mother, wife and friend

deal with the curses of MS daily but ignore it

and keep it moving

you will find someone who will love so hard

til' it hurts

who has dealt with her own insecurities

not big enough, not tall enough and yes

not dark enough

Looking into my eyes will tell you

where I've been

the path I've followed

and pain I've endured

but look into my heart and you will find

where I'm headed

the happiness I' ve felt

and the journey I'm seeking

Look into my eyes......

My Chi-Town Stories....scary and sad!!

Scroll down and pause my playlist to the right!! Let me hear your voice blogspot!!

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At Peace

6 years ago yesterday, Nov. 18, I lost my nephew to violence. He was only 22 at the time. God gives us peace in different ways. HE helps us to cope in whatever way we can, just to get through. Read how God worked with me in my nephew's guestbook. It was written for his birthday last year.



May 25, 2008


Ok, I thought time heals all wounds? That statement does not hold true for me. I thought the only pain I would endure was the pain of knowing you are not here. However, that pain has now magnified. Not only are you not here, I'm still in shock and confused. True the needle stick is not as painful, but the depth of it hurts all the same. I shed another tear for you last night. I remember when I first heard the news it was surreal. Unbelievable. 2 weeks before the funeral I had 5 dreams that you came back!! And for whatever reason it gave me comfort and peace. In my own warped mind, I thought it would happen. Seriously. I looked forward to the funeral because I didn't believe it. The sunday before the funeral I was at church hearing about the ones in the bible that were raised from the dead. I held on to that, just knowing that would happen. During the whole funeral I kept saying, get up! Get up! I couldn't pay attention to the service because I just knew you would get up. Praying and hoping that God would give the pastors power to make you get up! I told God if you did, I would not be afraid and that HE would get all praise and worship. But at the burial it hit. This was for real. You were not going to get up. That was the first time I almost had a panic attack. I think a part of me was loosing it. I still had dreams once or twice a month that you came back, and you were telling us how you felt different, and you were hungry. We were all hugging you and thanking God you were back. I had to get a grip. I prayed and asked God what does these dreams mean. The same kind of dream. I got peace when I realized that you were ok. The happiness and cheer we had when you came back, is the happiness and cheer that is happening for you in heaven. I have peace that you are ok. Not to worry about you. And the minute I stopped worrying, and came to that conclusion, the dreams stopped, the weekly tears stopped. God was telling me something. You will GET UP! We will see you again and it feels right around the corner. Finally my heart is at peace and I can rest. I will see you again!! I love you more than you knew.Weeping my endure for a night but joy comes in the morning!


Love Tia

Loud Silence

The loudest words spoken are the ones unheard

The ones that start with a kiss and end with a hug

The look in your eyes, the touch of your embrace

Nothing much has to be said, your spirit speaks volumes

Your silence is loud, your look is deafening

I hear your touch

I hear your silent tears

I hear your pain

While your words are kind and loving

Your silence is passionate,

Your silence is fearful,

Your silence is love

From your silence I can see your heart

No words are ever needed, I'm listening to your heart.

Hmmmm

I've gotten some hate mail from a certain reader telling me if I don't post, I can no longer stop by his page. How rude!! But I know the truth!
I've started to realize maybe I'm not the writter I thought I was. I have 5 drafts from things I would start and were unable to finish. I need motivation!!! Inspiration!!!
I think when I was hurting I had a lot to say, but now that I'm happy, nothing! lol. I'm starting to realize that I am an emtional writer. I can get down when it's dear to me, but if I can careless, it starts to show in my writings, or lack there of.
This was just a lil something to let my blog fam know that I have not left, I'm just in a blank moment right now.
Ok, I challenge myself to write even if I have nothing to say. Let's see what happens. You asked for it!!!!! lol

FRENEMIES

If one more talk show or morning show speaks of this, I just might blow my roof! Frenemy is a friend who acts more like your enemy. (enemy in friends clothing)
The different levels of frenemies:
The black hole- always negative, nothing positive to say.
Queen Me- Will always change the story to make it center her.
Unfriendly Competition- Anything you can do I can do better.
Gossipy- The town crier, sinister, gossips to make you look worse than her
Comments of a Frenemy
"You look tired" A way of telling you that you look a hot mess!
"I saw your boy friend and his new girl she sooooo pretty she looks like model"-
"I'm sorry you feel that way, A half a** apology
"Those shoes are soooo you"-You would say thank you till you realize, this isnt really a compliment
I befriended someone like this before. She was the unfriendly competitor. If I got honey blond streaks she'd die her hair platinum. If I get a cute new boyfriend, she'd get 2!

Do You have any frenemies? Do any of these sound familiar? Put em on blast or just share your experience.

"Mind your business couch"(flashback)

My 3 and 9 yr old boys have nose issues. They are the nosiest pair of children I know. Whatever happened to children being seen and not heard. Pullleeease!! They have no problem saying, "what was that", "who said that", "what happened" etc. Mind you, all those questions were never geared towards a convo they were in. My 9yr old is the worst. He will stand over my shoulder while I text, ask "who was that", once I'm off the phone and a ton of other "not your business questions".
One time a guy in the car in front of me was waving at me thru his rear view. Do you know my 9yr old (then 5) said, "mommy why was that man waving at you?" Are you kidding me. I was blown away.
The straw that broke the camels back was when I was trying to have a very discreet convo with my mother and that 9yr old yells from another room, "what?". I look around confused. He says, "mommy who's going there?". I had had enough. I told him to sit on the new "mind your business couch" until he learns to mind his own. It works great!
Taking away play stations and threatening whoopings don't work. But it's something about sitting all alone for no specified time that kids hate! Now all of my nosey kid visitors know the "mind your business couch". Niece and nephew. They actually catch their tongues now. Just be sure to not forget that they are on there like I did my 9yr old for an hour. He missed play time and had to go straight to bed..hahaha
If your child has nose issues, sit them on the "mind your business couch".
I threatened to put my hubby on it for 20 mins but that didn't work.

Tru Sista?(repost)

Am I less of a sister because I'm light?

You think because I blend in a little better

everything for me is alright?

I might not look like you

not dark enough to be black

or hood enough as a matter of fact

but "they" know I'm not one of them

So where do I stand?

You might be hated by the white man

but I'm hated by you

My sista

the one who shares my pain

I thought the field and house negro

was all in the past

After just celebrating MLK day

we are still far from free at last

Just remember, I am no less of a sista

just because I am bright

I am fighting the same struggle,

fighting the same fight

the only difference is

my skin happens to be light

But, I am STILL a SISTA!

My story of MS

The doctors told me I had MS on my brothers birthday. March 6, 2006. At the beginning it was terrible! The tests, were awful. Spinal taps where they go into your back to get fluid. Risky and painful healing.

Faith is what keeps me going and gets me through. I feel the best now then I ever did. In 2000 right after I got married and had my son I lost central vision in one of my eyes. I had peripheral vision in that eye but not central. I thought it was stress at that time and the doctors associated it with my migraines that would happen over the same eye. It happened again years later after my second son. That's when I knew something was wrong. Then I started getting blurred vision and my fingers and toes were numb. Couldn't feel anything. Could grasp anything. My scenes of touch was heightened. A hair brush felt like needles! My leg gave out on me at work and I almost hit the floor. It had attacked my muscles. I had to walk with my knee locked and not bend it because my knee was not strong enough to push off on. I went though a major transformation spiritually and I can say I have NEVER had that issue again. I had to stop working because I could not type!! Now I'm back to 48 wpm so GOD is good! I still have blurred vision if I'm stressed and numbness in my feet but that's it. I will tell anyone and everyone about my story because it is not for me. My story/testimony is for someone Else!!!!!




All if this is my past, my present is great and my future is brighter!! God is my healer and master physician!! I am brand new threw HIM

Science say "MS" but GOD says "TESTIMONY!"

Well in case you all didn't know, my life forever changed on my brothers birthday 3-6-06. I was diagnosed with MS. MS is a condition that attacks the nerves in the body. It eats away at the protective cover called Myelin Sheth (like insulation on a wire) and exposes the nerve which cause many symptoms when exposed.
Back to the story at hand. I went through many tests, some painful. I've heard everything from : "you won't walk normal again", "you will get worse", and many other negative ungodly things. I have experienced vision loss, muscle weakness, and numbness in my extremities.
But the minute I heard, "you have MS', I knew there was something I was suppose to do. My life finally had purpose and a meaning that I could actually put my finger on. I am here to give God glory as well as lead as many people as possible to Him thru this story.
I had faith that God was going to do somethings for me. My faith was that one day the spots they saw on my MRI will be gone by the next one. And it was!! I said by March/April my vision will be at the point where I will drive confidently. And it is!
God is working with me and I can not let His works go in vein. I know that God didn't do this, He allowed it. He knows I am strong enough to endure it or He would not have allowed it. I know that this is for His glory and His glory only. I know it is to bring me closer to Him as well as others. Might sound crazy to some but this is the best thing thats happened to me. If I were weak and fragile would I have such a trial? Would I be able to endure the pain? No. All of my pain, trials and tribulations says that I am strong! And that this is only a testimony in the works.

Yes science says MS but God says Testimony!

Is your spirit in conflict with God? Is your world in contradiction to God's word? Is it in direct contradiction to God's plan and word He has spoken over your life? Are you or someone you know in a similar situation, science vs God? Or any testimony you would like to share? Please post your story or comment here!

Look into my Eyes (repost)

If you look into my eyes

you will find a young lady who has the ability

to laugh hysterically and cry uncontrollably

all in a day

You will find the jokester and life of the party

amongst her circle

Look into my eyes and you will find

I'm a mother, wife and friend

someone who puts others before her

loves those who angered her

befriends those who are different from her

brings those to tears in laughter

warms hearts with compassion and sincerity

but look a little deeper

You will find a young girl who still seeks approval

who's pain is deep and tears are shallow

but look a little deeper and you will find

the contentment of my present

the excitement of my future

the pain of my past

look a little deeper and you will find a young lady

who loves people

but wants to be alone (still tryin to figure that one out)

you will see a mother, wife and friend

deal with the curses of MS daily but ignore it

and keep it moving

you will find someone who will love so hard

til' it hurts

who has dealt with her own insecurities

not big enough, not tall enough and yes

not dark enough

Looking into my eyes will tell you

where I've been

the path I've followed

and pain I've endured

but look into my heart and you will find

where I'm headed

the happiness I' ve felt

and the journey I'm seeking

Look into my eyes......

Wanna Taste (repost)

This is Crown Fountain at Millenium Park. It's a great place for children of all ages! The faces are of local Chicagers. Hope to see you here in 09!

Take a look at Fantasia and Jennifer Hudsons performance and the fireworks grand finale!

"> During The Taste, vendors and patriots come from all over Illinois to advertise their restaurant or just simply eat at The Taste. It is great advertisement and exposure and the variety of cuisines are great! Take a look at the massive crowd! I always have a hard time coming back to Atlanta after this event. It doesn't compare.

The Chicago Tribune did a preview of different foods at The Taste of Chicago. Outside of the regular pizza, corn on the cob, turkey leg, shrimp etc, they previewed a few of the more exotic non traditional foods. Click the link to check some of the dishes out.
http://www.truveo.com/Around-Town-at-the-Taste-of-Chicago/id/3749532817

HEAR MY CRY (REPOST)

My heart is heavy and burdened
Lord hear my cry
The enemy is attacking all those around me
while you have been my comforter and my strength
some are still lost and weary
Lord take my pain and feeling of helplessness away
heal the bodies and the financial struggles of my
loved ones
Release the strongholds that the enemy has placed
Dry my tears and hold my heart
Help me to be a blessing to others
as you have used me before
Show me your works and keep me grounded in you
while I know weeping may endure for the night but
joy cometh in the morning.
hear my cry Lord.

2009 Starting out to be a gr8 year (flashback)

I am so nervous. I can't believe I am finally going to do this. This has been my dream for the last 3 years. The line is getting shorter, and I'm up next. I adjust the mic while looking into the crowd of people. I begin.

"First giving honor to God and pastor. You know the Lord works in mysterious ways. I was just telling my husband that I am coming here expecting something. But never in a million years would I have thought that I would be here, standing in front of all of you. For 3 years I tried to get my story out. I needed to get it out. I needed to spread the word. I wrote emails, blogs and was even told I should write a book. But none of it gave me the satisfaction of being here right now. 3 years ago on my brother's birthday March 6, 2006 I was diagnosed with MS. My fingers and toes were mute. I had no feeling. Some days I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't make my baby's bottle. But I knew God didn't give me these 3 beautiful babies to not be able to see them or raise them. I was told that I had to take medication or I will be in a wheelchair. For 3 months I injected myself daily with my therapy medication. My spirit wouldn't let me continue it. I had dreams and I had to stop. My faith wasn't strong enough to claim my healing but I said, "the next MRI will not show that lesion" and this time last year it was gone. But you know doctors always downplay God. They told me that that's what lesions do, they come and go. But I knew better. I have been going to this church for 2 yrs and this is the first time I was able to see the pastors face clearly. For the first time I didn't get dropped off at the door, I walked across the parking lot. Pray my strength in the Lord."

The congregation stood to their feet, giving God a much deserved hand and mouth praise. I did it. I accomplished my dream of telling how God worked in my life to 100's. That night was better than any party or club the New Years' has brought before. My eyes were red, throat scratch and head pounding. I had been changed. I left that place 4 hours later meeting a few people that my story touched. I left 4 hours later not the same as I had came. God moved in that place and now the real work begins!

I hope 2009 brings you all peace, happiness, love and prosperity! I love each and every one of you!

Be Blessed,

Tia

Am I an intercessor?

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Business Opportunity!!

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Business Opportunity

(Pause my playlist, lower right)

Own your own business! Take a look at my mentor/team member and if you like what you see, hit me up!

Bloggin' Momma

I started blogging as a way to clear my head and free my mind. I have always loved to write and have been told that my testimonies were a blessing and an inspiration to others. But the more I wrote for others, the more it became for me.
Every time my thoughts went down on to the keys a weight was lifted. I started realizing it was therapeutic. It got to the point where I would have to get up from bed at 4am to write what was on my mind if I had any intentions on sleeping that night. It is now a necessity. I don't follow a theme or a format. One day it could be about love and the next Hughes net internet.
At one point I even decided to let the world know that I have MS. In the back of my mind I always knew I would share it. I also knew that the whole inspiration for blogging was due to that fearful diagnosis. I knew the only way I could cope with it was to help other people with the same illness. I knew that if one person felt inspired to keep going, I would NEVER stop blogging about it.
God gave me a peace. He spoke to my heart and gave me the words to say. There are a few times that I've blogged and couldn't ever fathom coming up with some of those blogs alone. I look back and I remember the pain of some of the poems. I remember reliving my feelings of insecurities and abandonment. I know that I have evolved because at one point I could not relive some of my writings. It was too raw, too emotional, and too hurtful. Now, I look back and see how I have overcome. I see the difference in every post. I remember being comforted by other blogger moms and feeling I was not alone. Some were only in my life for that one post, to offer their prayers and heart felt thoughts. Others are still around to this day. Regardless of the time frame, they made an impact and for that they will never be forgotten.
So, I guess all in all we all have our reasons for blogging. Some are personal diaries, some are for arts and crafts, or even to chart the growth and development of their children and grandchildren, but for me, it kept me sane. It helped me to relieve my heat and soul of pain and heart ache, while sharing my happiness and good times. Blogging is the journey of my mind.

Y do we club?(E2 night club tragedy below)

I am soooo done with clubbin. Not only because I'm a married woman that has no place there, but because it started to become tiring. Why do we club? To meet someone or jump off, to get drunk, show off our gear, or dance and have a good time? Well I was an innocent clubber..lol. I went to dance and give/get numbers. But I made a conscious decision to stop clubbing. I started to notice that clubbing was a waste of time, figuratively and literally so I started to hit bars. No not to drink but to play darts and pool. Absolutely loved it!! Well there is a reason it was literally a waste of time. Do you know the origin of clubs? Everything has a beginning. Clubs were a form of worship to gods. Witchcraft. The loud drum/bass beat and flashing lights were a ritual of praise and it was meant to steal time. Ever notice after leaving the club it seems like you were only there for a couple of hours but it turned out to be more like 4! My last clubbin experience was 2003 at the popular E2 night club in Chicago. I was there for less than 20mins when my cuz and I noticed it was just toooo packed! Now realizing I was really done now! All the time, money and preparation put into going and only stayed for 20 mins? The money on the outfit that now smelled like smoke, the money for my hair that is now sweated out. Not to mention being ripped off to get in and get something to drink but also disrespected for what I considered the last time by a "club dude". Glad I made the choice when I did because a few weeks later this featured clip is what happened at the very same night club that I frequented monthly! It made national new! In 2003 21 club goers were killed when they were crushed and trapped while trying to flee from the cloud of dust that was left by the pepper spray sprayed into the air. Look at the people who are crushed and trapped in the doorway. Again tell me why you club?
">

Devil's Music? (I stay controversial but truthful!)

">

Remember being banned from listening to certain music because it is "the devils' music"? Well finally at the ripe age of 28, I get it. From a biblical stand point we all know that Satan was kicked out of Heaven. We also know that he was the chief musician. Well he still is!!!! His powers were never stripped from him. He is still the chief musician. What is his goal? To lure as many people as he can away from Christ. The easiest way is thru music because once it's in you, it can't get out. With TV you can close your eyes, with words you can simply stop reading. But with sound, you cant stop it unless you don't listen in the first place. Think of how music has transformed over time. Some say the enemy tried to lure us thru heavy metal. When playing some songs backward it has hidden messages. One popular message was to smoke weed. Which is why weed was so popular amongst the hippies. However it did not lure us blacks. So now he had to come up with ways to get us. It is said that Bone Thugs-N-Harmony sold their souls to the devil for record sales. On their first CD cover they have witchcraft on it. A message written backward, and the only way to read it is to put it against the mirror. However once this is done you are speaking it into your soul. We know the tongue is powerful. Remember God made the heavens and earth just by speaking it. Did you realize one of Jay-Z mix tape says "murder murder Jesus" backwards? Or that one of Snoops early CD's shows him in the hospital bed dead and coming back to life with Jesus spirit? Or when Wu-Tang had an animation on the beginning of their website that showed the "W" symbol slicing the head off of Jesus and a black hawk sucking out His soul and flying it over and placing it into them? Or the fact that Missy and Snoop have said they make their best music high. Hmm I wonder why? I wonder why their music is sooo much better while high. Because it's not them they are working under. Jay-Z calling himself J-hova. Come on now. And we at the club and concert throwing our hands up to J-hova then turn around on Sunday and throw your hands up to Jesus? Not right. All of this was brought to my attention by a controversial minister name G Craig Lewis. Hip-Hop hates him! He has a 3 or 4 part series entitled "The truth About Hip-Hop". And he speaks to teens all over the world. Check him out and look at this clip. I know many won't like what I have said so feel free to respond.

Please let me know what you thought.

Are You Heaven Bound?

Over the last few years I have lost family and acquaintances, and it has made me think, "If I left today, where would I go?" One scripture that gets me through everything is when God says He would never put more on us than we can bare. To me that means, if I couldn't handle it, He wouldn't have allowed it. So I know that I am strong and it is through Christ who strengthens me.
God is loving and merciful. Every morning that I rise is due to him. Every accident, almost kidnapping, close rapes and molestation attempts were all avoided because of Him. I believe He spared my life so that I had the chance to get it right! Also, so that I would recognize who He is and give Him all the glory. Ten years ago, if my time had ran out, where would I have gone? I would not have been heaven bound. But He continues to spare my life so that I have a chance to do things the way He wants me too. He allowed me to grow so that I can remember to make His will my own. As you live you learn, you grow.
So please remember to thank Him for every thing you do. Even when things aren't going they way you want them to, know that that is His way of protecting you and sparing you. Didn't get the car, man, house, woman, job or money you set out for? Don't worry about it. It was not for you. He closed that door and opened a window. Just turn around and look.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. So take notice of your life and your blessings. Make everyday count. If you left here today would you be Heaven bound?

Psychology majors, diagnose me.

Ok yall, I have analyzed and diagnosed myself for years. Some things I have realized and others are still a blur. I am not only a blogger but I have rekindled some relationships off of facebook! Be care, you can find any and everyone. Even when you don't want to be found!

Anyhoo, for the most part I talk and chat with everyone from my past and present, except ex's. I have opened up the door for some relationships with some females. Now you know I don't do the chick thing well, but lately I've gotten close to two girls that I have known well over 10 yrs and its been cool. ( You ladies know who you are)

For the first time I don't feel overwhelmed when we communicate. I am a loner. I don't talk or kick it with chicks unless you are my mother, sister, or cousin ( only 2 cousins and one is my BFF). Relationships with females have been draining. I had to explain why I didn't call, where I had been, etc. It was like a heterosexual relationship. I even had to break up with a chick and she acted like we were a couple. I felt like a dude..lol. Why do I fear female relationships? I haven't been hurt by any females.

I know I'm a nice person and easy to get along with. I have certificates and report cards to prove it!!!

Is it because some of them are too clingy and emotional? I fear going past typing/texting. I fear opening up that door.

But guess what. Me and two girls texted each other for a while about "Making the Band"..and I even talked to one for an hour! I don't do that if you are not one of the above mentioned. It was sooooooooooooooo cool. I realized not all chicks are blood sucking vultures. lol. I sooo enjoyed our convo, she is one person I wont send to voice mail if she calls. And the other is welcomed to call me anytime as well! (you know who you are)

What it all boils down to is that I found someone like me. They both have the same morals, goals and interest as I, and it has been a pleasure exploring new relationships. But I dont plan on making it a habit with others. lol ...

That's bad huh??

Fellas, what's your FICO? It can help you get a Woman!!

Ok guys. What is your fico? Do you realize it tells a lot about who you are and your character. I think if your fico is important enough to determine if you can get a job, home and a car, it definitely should be helpful in relationships. Now I'm not saying that if you have a 500, you're not a nice guy. It's just that, that 500 will show that you are not too responsible.

You know us ladies know how far we will go with you the minute we speak. On that dinner date we know if you are a "friend", "friend with benefits" or something "long term". In saying that, if your credit is jacked, none of these relationships will work.

For instance:

Just Friends- If your score is jacked this relationship could fizzle. Not only will you not be good on keeping your word but she will have to pay if your cards are declined!

Friends w/benefits- This one is a no-no too. It's over if you can't provide the hotel or other spot need.

Long term- It's definitely over. If she see's your credit is jacked she can't foresee the ring, house, car, wedding and everything else she expects you to help with. She also won't feel you are a man of your word. I mean you promised to pay that bill when you took out that loan. If you'd lie to the bank, you might lie to her.

I know what some of you are thinking. I don't need credit. I got money! Eeeennnggg (buzzer sound) Wrong! No woman thinks it's sexy paying cash for everything! That is soooooo high school. Paying cash for everything might mean you don't have a bank account. Us ladies do not find that cute!! I understand we all fall on hard times. We have had bad months and years. But a score of 550 or lower says your past and present is jacked!

You are ALMOST as good as your credit score.

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

Steve Harvey has a new book entitled, " Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man". I have not read the book but I agree with the title. I have always thought like a guy in my relationships. Which in turn had me attracting needy, highly emotional men! Ewwww! I was the type that didn't want to talk to you on the phone after I just spent the whole day with you. Sometimes I wanted to pay for my own meal so that he wouldn't think more of the date than what it really was, a date! I didn't like hearing that I was the "marrying type" or hearing them say they told their mom about me and it had only been 3 months! I think the thing that attracted me to my husband was that he too was a challenge. He didn't drop everything for me at the beginning. He didn't cancel plans for me at the beginning, I didn't meet his mom at the beginning. When we dated, that is what it was, dating. Once we established we are doing more than "going out and having a good time", those other things were fine. I have developed a few questions that I think woman have, but I answered it the way I feel a man would. This is my perspective on how I think they think. Fellas correct me if I'm wrong.

1, How come men don't like to cuddle after sex?
I think some do, but they get hot from the performance and can't take it after the exhaustion. If you are their woman and time is on his side he would cuddle. It's those that are not into you or treat you like a "piece" that's not into cuddling.

2, How soon is too soon to be intimate? So he doesn't see me as slutty.
The first night or within the first week chances are his perception of you will change if it happens within that time frame. Get to know him, waiting long enough to know his character will let him know that you are not his quick fix and it will send the message that you want more.

3, What attracts guys to a woman?
Hygiene and taking care of yourself. Your nails don't have to be long and painted red, just neat and even. Soft nice feet, hands, hair and skin. Just like woman judge men on their shoes, a man also loves a great heel on a woman.

4, What is sexy to a guy?
Sexy is not in what you wear. It is what you exude. You can be sexy with your hair in a ponytail and workout gear on. If a woman knows she's sexy, a man will know it too.

5, What scares off a man?
Clinginess, talks of marriage and hopes for children shared on the first date, flirting with everyone not just him, parties too much.

6, What turns a man off?
Nagging, bad hygiene, a nasty unkept woman (her and her home), slutty dresser, slutty demeanor, wild, and a drunk.

7, Will telling a man what I want scare him off?
Yes, if it is done too soon. But it is needed and appreciated so that you won't waste his time or yours. Once you feel he is interesting enough to want to pursue (usually during the dating/courting phase) ask his short and long term goals. If you don't like where he's headed, cut it off before it goes to far.

8, Why are men afraid/intimidated by an in dependant woman?
I dont feel that all are afraid/intimidated, only those who are not strong and secure with a strong woman or insecure with themselves feel that way. I think every man wants to feel needed. The new age "independent woman'' has now taken over the relationship. It's not the paying of bills, being head strong, or handling business that they don't like. It's the fact that the "independent woman" is wearing the pants in the relationship. She doesn't consult with him before making huge decisions, she doesn't include him or ask his opinion. She also makes it clear that she "don't need him", and that's what they don't like.

It's not the White Man that holds you back!

Fellas, don't get offended, get a belt!!

25 Random things about ME...Shhhh..don't tell anyone!

1, I was in labor for 1 hr with my first born.

2, Granny had 16 kids.

3, I clubbed 2 hard years and now its out of my system, I hate it.

4, I'm a loner

5, I'm an observer.

6, I don't like to get personal

7, I don't care to make new friends, I'm fine with the ones I have. (is that bad?)

8, I prefer hanging with guys over girls.

9, My first best friend was a boy.

10, I had 2 committed relationships, the others were too smothering.

11, I realized I am spoiled but I was born this way. lol

12, My cousin, sister and I were chased on foot by some men in a van!

13, I found my childhood chicago friend on facebook and now she's in ga too!

14, I love to play pool.

15, I dated my grammar school teacher's son and didnt know it. We were childhood friends.

16, His wife has no clue we dated. (we weren't serious so it's cool I guess)

17, I did some singing in chicago.

18, I dated my cousin's crush and didn't know it.

19, My ga friends and chicago friends knew each other. Small world.

20, I clubbed at E2 right before the E2 night club tragedy. (youtube it!)

21, I'm in the process of getting my first home built, hopefully it all goes well.

22, My husband's cousin and my cousins were friends before we even met. (another small world)

23, I lived in cali and don't plan on going back.

24, I dislike show offs.

25, I hate cooking. Probably because I was forced to do so by a few family members at a young age.

Children and Relationships

, w I have been fortunate and blessed enough to be with the father of my children, however not everyone is so fortunate. At what point do you introduce your mate to your children? Do you wait a certain time limit? 2, 4, 6 months? I personally never had this situation but my personal opinion, why have your children dating your mate? If you do not plan to marry the person why should they have any interaction with your child? I understand that at some point they will meet, but how far should it go? Should they develop a personal relationship only to be left feeling abandoned when the relationship doesn't work out?

When do you introduce your child to your mate?

At what point will you allow them to spend quality time together?

They have gone tooo far! But still funny.

Tru Sista?

Am I less of a sister because I'm light?

You think because I blend in a little better

everything for me is alright?

I might not look like you

not dark enough to be black

or hood enough as a matter of fact

but "they" know I'm not one of them

So where do I stand?

You might be hated by the white man

but I'm hated by you

My sista

the one who shares my pain

I thought the field and house negro

was all in the past

After just celebrating MLK day

we are still far from free at last

Just remember, I am no less of a sista

just because I am bright

I am fighting the same struggle,

fighting the same fight

the only difference is

my skin happens to be light

But, I am STILL a SISTA!

Single Ladies!!

She got Bey faded!! Thanks Princess Katrina for the cutest video!

The Pain of Love

Have you ever been heart broken because of your love for someone or their love for you? I have experienced them both, and still do. My hubby and I had a long distance dating relationship and part of our marriage. We met while living in different states, and his former career took him out of town while we were married. I had never cried so much in my life. Missing him hurt to the core. I honestly felt pain in my chest. It was a physical hurt and emotional. Thank God that type of pain is over. We are together and happy.
Now on to the other type of pain. I am currently feeling heart broken because of how much I am loved. Sounds crazy huh? I know. I, at one point had guys to feel feelings for me that I was unable to reciprocate. I felt bad but that's not the pain I'm referring to.
My mother has a love for me that is soooo deep and sooo strong I pray that I can only be that loving to my kids, if I don't ship them off first. She drops what she's doing at the drop of a dime to be there for me and my kids. Not to my request of course. It hurts because I know how badly she needs a break. I know how she looks forward to things but she will still drop it all.
People think it's because of the MS. Yes, she has been there. Coming over late at night and early in the morning to help with the house or kids. But she has always been that way. Maybe because I'm the baby.
It's hurting now more than ever because I am near 30 and she still acts as if I am her responsibility. Its time for her to rest. But she wont. She stays on the move. My hubby says God will bless her and so will we. I owe her, feels like forever. Anyone have a love like this? Ever felt a love like this?

Born Gay?

I have heard many people say they were born gay because who in their right mind would choose it. This is a very touchy subject that many don't take lightly. I can't say weather they are born that way or chose that lifestyle, all I can say is, it is not of God.

There was a huge debate going on on V103 in ATL about a minister on Oprah saying "being gay is a gift from God". I don't know how he meant it because I didn't see it, but I don't agree with any way he formed it.

I think homosexuality is a spirit not of God. Doesn't matter if you were born into it or chose it, it is a spirit. The tongue is powerful and we often speak things into existence. The gay community always say they were gay ever since they could remember. They were gay at the age of 5 because they wanted to play with dolls and be the mommy when they played house. Well how come the girls didn't consider themselves gay just because they played football and wrestled with the boys? We call that Tom Boys. Playing with dolls as a little boy doesn't mean you will be or are attracted to them. Society says it means you are gay, so these homophobic parents and community labels that on a child who is doing things differently than the norm. What do you think? Is gay ok? Can you be born that way or choose it?

2009 started off a GREAT year!

I am so nervous. I can't believe I am finally going to do this. This has been my dream for the last 3 years. The line is getting shorter, and I'm up next. I adjust the mic while looking into the crowd of people. I begin.

"First giving honor to God and pastor. You know the Lord works in mysterious ways. I was just telling my husband that I am coming here expecting something. But never in a million years would I have thought that I would be here, standing in front of all of you. For 3 years I tried to get my story out. I needed to get it out. I needed to spread the word. I wrote emails, blogs and was even told I should write a book. But none of it gave me the satisfaction of being here right now. 3 years ago on my brother's birthday March 6, 2006 I was diagnosed with MS. My fingers and toes were mute. I had no feeling. Some days I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't make my baby's bottle. But I knew God didn't give me these 3 beautiful babies to not be able to see them or raise them. I was told that I had to take medication or I will be in a wheelchair. For 3 months I injected myself daily with my therapy medication. My spirit wouldn't let me continue it. I had dreams and I had to stop. My faith wasn't strong enough to claim my healing but I said, "the next MRI will not show that lesion" and this time last year it was gone. But you know doctors always downplay God. They told me that that's what lesions do, they come and go. But I knew better. I have been going to this church for 2 yrs and this is the first time I was able to see the pastors face clearly. For the first time I didn't get dropped off at the door, I walked across the parking lot. Pray my strength in the Lord."

The congregation stood to their feet, giving God a much deserved hand and mouth praise. I did it. I accomplished my dream of telling how God worked in my life to 100's. That night was better than any party or club the New Years' has brought before. My eyes were red, throat scratch and head pounding. I had been changed. I left that place 4 hours later meeting a few people that my story touched. I left 4 hours later not the same as I had came. God moved in that place and now the real work begins!

I hope 2009 brings you all peace, happiness, love and prosperity! I love each and every one of you!

Be Blessed,

Tia