Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Pain of Love



Have you ever been heart broken because of your love for someone or their love for you? I have experienced them both, and still do. My hubby and I had a long distance dating relationship and part of our marriage. We met while living in different states, and his former career took him out of town while we were married. I had never cried so much in my life. Missing him hurt to the core. I honestly felt pain in my chest. It was a physical hurt and emotional. Thank God that type of pain is over. We are together and happy.
Now on to the other type of pain. I am currently feeling heart broken because of how much I am loved. Sounds crazy huh? I know. I, at one point had guys to feel feelings for me that I was unable to reciprocate. I felt bad but that's not the pain I'm referring to.
My mother has a love for me that is soooo deep and sooo strong I pray that I can only be that loving to my kids, if I don't ship them off first. She drops what she's doing at the drop of a dime to be there for me and my kids. Not to my request of course. It hurts because I know how badly she needs a break. I know how she looks forward to things but she will still drop it all.
People think it's because of the MS. Yes, she has been there. Coming over late at night and early in the morning to help with the house or kids. But she has always been that way. Maybe because I'm the baby.
It's hurting now more than ever because I am near 30 and she still acts as if I am her responsibility. Its time for her to rest. But she wont. She stays on the move. My hubby says God will bless her and so will we. I owe her, feels like forever. Anyone have a love like this? Ever felt a love like this?

9 comments:

Toia said...

I have. The crazy thing is to love like that is like a blessing and a curse. A blessing to have found someone who seems to love you for who you are and can relate with you on an whole other level.

A curse because it hurts to lose that special loved one to either death, relocation miles and miles away from you, or due to unforseen circumstamces like a disagreement or something.

Like they always say, "It is better to have love and lost, than not love at all"......Or is it???

Great post!!

Tia's Real Talk said...

Thank you Toia for your words and stoppin by. I love your 'about me' section! I am an author on potent praise and we take submissions from others. Check them out on my blog roll and invite me to view your page. I would love to ready the bible study blog if you dont mind.

Princess Katrina said...

I am going thru the same thing. My fiance and I are in a long distance relationship and even tho we get to see each other a lot, I feel so alone and hurt when we are not together. I am so desperately in love with him it hurts to be away, but I wouldnt have it any other way! Being in love is the greatest feeling in the world!!

Great post!

Tia's Real Talk said...

Hey Princess K. Thanks for stopping by. I know how you feel but know that oneday you two will be living blissfully as husband and wife. The day is coming so just hold on!

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

Embrace it. Your mom may feel that GOD has placed her here specifically to care for you. Not that she would love and do the same for your sibling(s) if there are any but a mother's love has no end. If you haven't already, I'm sure a heart felt note and the most beautiful stationary your can find would mean the world to her. A lot of people wonder about ways to "pay someone back" for something they think they owe but letters from your heart go much farther and deeper than any gift you could find. I'm sure that there are countless kids and adults who never had a mom, wish they had a mom and would do anything to trade places with you.

Let her love you and it also contributes to your mothering.

My dad loves me the same and I just embrace it. He met me for the 1st time in 03 and keeps trying to make up. I just let him do what he wants and say thank you and I love you. We write e-mails, cards and letters all the time and God forbid when he passes, I will have the "words" to look back on.

Have a great weekend.
The butterfly.

Tia's Real Talk said...

Free spirit Butterfly, out of my almost year of blogging, that was the best advice I've gotten. Thank you soooo much for that! My mom has 7 younger sibblings and have been taking care of kids all her life. She got her break once we all got our homes. But we all had to come back home with our kids during rough times. And now with my MS..she is back trying to take responsibility for me. My sister and hubby says let her do what she feels she needs to do. Dont stop her. I never knew my real dad. when i was 19 she told me the real story. Maybe she feels bad about the situation with my dad..maybe she is trying to make up for that too. Thank you sooo much miss butterfly!!

Blinders Off said...

Beautiful post Tia, LOVE is what Jesus had for us…LOVE is what Jesus want us to have for others.

I smiled when you talked of your mother because I am the same way with my girls. I will give my life for them. This year they will be 30, 27, and 24, I still make them Valentine cards with coupons, Easter baskets, and Christmas stockings. I know they are grown, but it gives me joy to see the looks on their faces.

Unconditional love does not stop once our children become adults. To truly know what it feels like to LOVE and feel LOVE is living LIFE to the fullest.

Tia's Real Talk said...

Blinders off, how r u? Missed you lady. You said it, that was deep and true. Thanks for that. I love the way you love your girls..you all seem like best friends like me and my mom.

James Tubman said...

i had a love like that but i didnt appreciate it

my family has always been there for me and still is

but you dont really appreciate what you have until its gone

im glad that you are wise enough to appreciate what you have now

that is what black people more of

we need more gratitude for the ones who come in our life and make it better