Thursday, October 23, 2008

They like me, They really like me!!

Blinders Off who shares my walk in MS has given me the award "Gratitude with Attitude", by way of Brass and Ivory. She is soooo inspiring to me! I love ya Blinders Off!

"Lisa at Brass and Ivory is an MS crusader in the blogosphere and she selected me as one of her dirty dozens to give the gratitude with an attitude award. I want to pass that on to you."

Here are the rules:

* Put the logo on your blog or post.
* Nominate at least 10 blogs which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude!
* Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
* Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
* Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.

I don't know anyone with MS other than Blinders Off to give the "Attitude with Gratitude" award. So I will hand it to those who not only have great blog reads, but are very inspirational! My award goes to:

Let Me Explain- She has been my BFF and inspiration from the womb. There's no one like her!

Don- He reintroduced the love of writing to me..he is a great poet as well.

Potent Praise- A group of God fearing people who love Jesus and are my friends! Thanks for adding me as an author!

Natarsha- Teaching children in Korea while still running her Photography Co.

Christoph J- Teaching children in Korea and still using his inspirational poetry to touch all.

Tamara Angela Grant - Inspiring all to read and write. And helping those who want to be authors!

Raw Dawg - Philosophical posts that keep my brain workin!

MyBrownBaby- Great author who's writings are inspiring to me.

1. - Her writing is witty and edgy!

Free Spirit Butterfly - her trails and testimonies are inspirational to many.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Pick your Battles

Over the last year I have had 7 close family and friends embark upon marriage. 2 of which will jump the broom this Nov! So I dedicate this to all of you!!

The bible speaks of having a quiet spirit. Maybe I'm wrong, but to me that goes hand in hand with picking your battles.
Not everything has to be addressed or confronted. We have to learn what to speak on and what to let go.
This is good advice for relationships with children and adults. I had a friend that told me she was tired of fighting with her then 6 yr old daughter about getting up and ready for their Saturday errands, so she let her daughter dress herself. She was wrinkled and not matching at times but it worked and they made it out of the house in a timely fashion. Also, it stopped a lot of the whining and bickering. Now that idea might not work for every parent but it made Saturdays a lot easier for my friend. She picked her battles.
I have learned that even as a married adult, I have to pick battles with my husband. I know his pet peeves and I try to not aggravate them. But at the same time he must realize I will be me, and there will always be something I might do/do not do that he doesn't like so accept certain things. Remember we are consider "help mates" to each other in the bible. Rest assured, fighting every battle is not a help to either partner.
So how do I know what battle to fight?
First lets not consider everything a battle. Look at it as simply expression of feelings or just information. Looking at in as a battle all the time can result in a war!!

Ask yourself: Is this issue worth addressing (could mental, physical or financial harm result if not addressed?) Is it merely a pet peeve? Who would benefit from this battle if addressed?

Moral of the story speak on the necessary and let foolishness go. Not only will it help ease the possibility of war, it will help us learn what's really important and what's not.

Anything you would like to add on this topic or any others? Visit

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

State of Confusion

Have you ever got to a point in your life where you are totally confused on your next move? Some things come so easily, sometimes without a thought. Others leaving you baffled.

What am I suppose to do next? What do I do next?

If life could only give a manual. A book of directions to follow. Well there is. The bible!

But not all things need such heavy pondering. Step out on faith and do what you feel is best.

God won't always answer when you think He should. He wants to know where you stand.

So Stand Up!!!
Stop worrying about the trivial things all the time. Make a sound choice and ask God to lead you in the right direction in that choice that you made. He does tell us to leave our cares and burdens upon Him, but there are things that He would like for us to do on our own. He doesn't care what car you drive or if you rent or own. He does give us the desires of our heart.
Make up your own mind and do what you know you should do. I heard a pastor say the only time we are confused is when one of our options is the wrong one. Are we ever confused between right and right? No, there is always an option that is less than correct that we are always struggling with. So at the end of the day do the right thing and you will never go wrong!

Don't make life any harder on you than it has to be. Don't think everything is God and everything is the devil.

My life has me at a state of confusion right about now. Not knowing exactly what I should be doing. Hubby and I are thinking about moving back to Chicago. Will I work, or go to school, how long will I have to live in an apartment before we get established in that expensive city.

So many decisions but I know that if I do what's best for me and my family and keep Him first, all others will fall nicely into place.

Are you in a state of confusion?

Do Over

f you had the ability to do one thing over, what would it be? Would you change anything about you, your life or situation?
I'm sure we all know that even the worst parts of our lives are important in the molding of who we are. But there are still those moments where we are like "dag, I wish...."
Is there a lover that you feel you might have been better off if you'd never met them? Or a job that caused more stress than money made? A family member that you wish didn't share your blood line?
We all have those little regrets. A one night stand that you wouldn't dare share with even your closest friend?

Just for fun, what is your lil regret?

My biggest regret is not going away to school and majoring in my true love, Child Psychology.

What would you like to do over?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

How to Keep a Black Woman...(in my opinion)

She can be emotional- Accept it, we can't be as hard as we seem. We have high hormone levels and the pressures of being a woman on our shoulders.

Love Yourself- One for sure way to love us is to love you! Be confident, flaunt what you are good on what you are not.

Tell her- Yes you must show it, but it is also important to say it. Look into our eyes when you do.

appearance- You all aren't the only ones who care about it. Keep yourself up. Get your hair cut, buy some new kicks. Take pride in your swagger!

No show offs- don't put everything on display. We don't need to hear how loud your stereo can get or how many chains you can get from your local flee Market.

Educated- Its nothing like talking with a well spoken educated man. It's attractive if you know about today's events and a lil history. 2pac and Biggie don't count in either of the choices.

Take care of home- in every way you could imagine. Bills, and the overall happiness of your woman and your home.

Head of the house- this is a big one to me..being the head doesn't mean you dictate and bark orders...head of the house also means giving a role/duty to someone who might do it better than you. Just cause you are a man doesn't mean you can do it all. If you suck at house hold repairs, it's ok..HIRE SOMEONE!

honesty- be truthful about your feelings. Don't tell us what you think we want to hear. (unless we ask, "does this dress make me look fat") let us know how you feel. It takes a real man to express how he feels. It's ok to use words like hurt, sad and "I'm sorry"! You will be a happier man if you do.

There are sooooooooooo many more but here are a few. At the end of the day treat her as your best friend. If you are married to her, she comes before your friends and right after Jesus!

Feel free to leave word on how you would love a black woman or how you want to be loved.

Friday, October 10, 2008

If You Were Never Born

How has your presence effected your inner circle? Do you feel that if you were never here things would be different? Of course it would be. Not saying that everything would be so terrible without your presence but you have made an impact.

How different would your friends be if they didn't have you? Who would be parenting your kids? Everything around you is how it is because of the people. That mean teacher is being a little more fair because of you. That racist boss will keep his comments to himself in the privacy of his own thoughts because of you. Your mother is more trusting of teens because of you. But realize you also could be a hell raiser and it could be the other way around.

That woman wouldn't have that black eye if it weren't for you. That child would still be alive if you would've said "no" to that beer at the club. Not all people are positive but we all play a part in this world. What side do you play.

Would people wish you were never born?

Sunday, October 5, 2008

What is Your Most Embarrassing Moment?

Ok, maybe it's good I didn't continue my singing/dancing/entertaining career, because I have found myself running in shame from some of my horror moments.

My city, the city I love more than any other..Chicago! Yes, my city had me trying to

Remember that cousin I spoke of? Well, we decided to take our singing to the next level.

We started taking vocal lessons, well I took 3. 70.00 per week, I couldn't afford at that time. So I started practicing what I was taught from my vocal coach and my high school friend Tamyra Gray.

Anyhoo, my cousin and I sang everywhere! Did nigh clubs (another embarrassing story), radio jingles and even was approached by managers and other groups that were interested in us!

We were on our way!!

So I thought.

We got the opportunity to sing live on a cable access channel. Yeah you know em, every city has that crazy cable channel that is low budget and usually are some kind of dance or talent show.

We were one of the groups who were to be featured on this show.

My other cousin was our manager (since she had the degree in Advertising/Marketing). We had one family member as our stylist for our hair and wardrobe..we were doing big thangs!

Tease was our name...not in a sexual manner but because we were Tia and Tanesha and to spell it T's was lame.

We practice our song by Faith Evans for weeks and had it down packed.

We arrive at the studio and we are greeted by a man like Jerome from Martin.

Yes, he was looking at us like we were a juicy steak!

He showed us around the studio and told us where we would be singing.

We asked him if we could use the restroom so we could practice and freshen up. He showed us the restroom and told us we were next.

"We're first?" "You're the only." "what?!?" "No one else showed up, so you girls have the entire 1 hr show."

Total fear and panic at this point. An hour show! Are you kidding. We shoulda known this would happen, after all this man was also the 1 of the 2 camera men, the sound guy and probably the janitor too for all we knew.

We are ready to sing. We look for the "3..2..1.." countdown. And we are on! Only thing is the sound guy screwed up our tape and it started in the middle of our intro!!! As we stand there looking aimlessly into the camera, I desperately try to play catch up.

That song wasn't the worst, well it wasn't for me. My cousin has a different opinion. My screw up came on a later song.

Now we are told we would have an interview. Oh lord. We sit with the man who is the sound man, camera man and now the host/interviewer. It didn't go well. Every time I spoke I got a lecture like a child and everything my cousin said she could never elaborate when more was asked. This interview was such a bust we were determined to take the spotlight off of us by telling him our manger/cousin also had a great voice. He licks his lips (she was also a juicy steak) and calls her on to the stage. Of course she gestured she was going to beat us up after the show. She never came on the set. Mind you the audience was filled with 13 people...9 of whom were with us!

Time for our second song. "His Eye is on the Sparrow", which we hadn't sung in months! A song I was just learning months earlier. The song was going fine until I thought it was over and put the mic down, only to hear my cousin ad-libbing more to the song. So I play it off the best way possible..pick up the mic and keep going. Now we are finally done. So I thought, she is still singing the song that should have been over by now. So here I am looking silly again by putting my mic down as if we are done.

Once it was finally over..the audience was to come and shake our hand while the credits rolled. Our family was not prepared to be on my other cousin slides and scoots sheepishly past one camera..another one was getting her every move! So we were all embarrassed that day.

Months later co-workers noticed me from that show. The show that we hoped no one would see being that it was aired on a hot summer July evening at 7pm. Why was anyone home anyway??

My cousin has successfully lost the tape and it will never be shown again!! Lord knows I hope!

I just revealed my embarrassing moment, and my cousin's...what's yours?

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Where Has Life Taken You?

Are you where you always thought and dreamed you would be? Are you living your childhood dream now? Many of us aren't. I know I am not.

Since 3yrs old, like a lot of kids, I wanted to be an entertainer. My cousin and I sang, put on plays(wrote our own songs and plays) and danced wherever there was a group of 3 or more. We did shows for family functions, bday parties and all. But at the same time, I was the "lil old lady". Giving advice and always in grown folk business. Analyzing and singing is what I always did. I continued that love into junior high. I danced with a dance group in Cali and was on the schools Peer Mediation board. Still entertaining and analyzing. Once I got to high school I joined the chorus. Still singing. Even took some college courses on Music Mngmnt.

but having my son young and getting married young changed everything. I realized singing was a hobby and going to school for psychology wasn't in the plans at that moment. So I took some coding classes and continued on with life. I continued my love for writing since that was the only thing left of my childhood dream I had.

Now I look back and realize all my time is rapidly leaving. I could have completed two dreams by now. My cousin kept dancing in Cali and made it to some really good videos backing some hiphop and rap groups. My Chicago cuz/BFF kept singing for a while and has also put on Chicago land talent shows with her own production co.. See a pattern here?

Me? Still finding my way. lol...Feeling too old for some things, too young for others. I still plan on making my way to my Masters in Child Psychology and minor in journalism or at least a writing class. Pray for me!

Are you doing what you've always dreamed?

Are you saving the Environment?

I will be the first to admit, I was not considered eco friendly at all. In fact, I just became aware of the term in my early 20's. It wasn't a huge issue to me or my family 7-8 years ago. Now everything is eco friendly. I saw on t.v how a couple saves energy by blending their smoothie drinks on their exercise bike! Or on the news they suggest pouring a bottle of water into the tank of your toilet to save on water. If I'm not mistaken it saves an average of 10 flushes. I also heard to save energy you should wash all of your clothes early in the day, one load after the other.
Now I'm a mom of 3. I can not hop on my exercise bike when I need to blend my 8 months old food. Nor can I wash all of my load of laundry early in the day, one after the other. My baby sleeps during that time so it's more feasible for me to wash at midnight. I also can not afford to buy water to flush down the toilet.
One thing I can say that is achievable for me and my lifestyle is eco friendly Canon Digital Cameras. I am sooo not with technology but I am a mother who is always taking pics. After my hubby's constant advise to get with the "times", I looked up eco friendly technology and found the SuperWarehouse and that Canon has minimized product packaging and the industry's longest-running toner recycling program! I never thought of toner recycling as energy saving. I have always done it for money saving! I even found HP Laptops that are light weight and thin for as little as 400.00! My laptop is not light weight to me, unfortunately, but who would've thought lightweight and thin helps the environment. I also found a few other laptops that won medals for environmental eco friendliness. Even though I have a pretty good scanner, epson scanners are also good on energy if anyone's interested.
Ok let's be mindful that environmental friendly products are also friendly on the pockets. With the gas shortage frenzy here in Ga, saving money is a huge deal! I am a faith believer and I know that we won’t be here forever, but since we are here now, let’s do our part and make our gadgets and trinkets eco friendly. Especially if it’s things you are already using. So if anyone is interested in saving the planet or your pockets check out superwarehouse. Everything on it is eco friendly!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Living outside your means?

Going site seeing in Chicago was always fun to me. We would see Jordan's house, R. Kelly's and other Chicago stars. Funny how Chicago rich and Ga.'s rich are soooo different. Here in Ga there is no rich area really. A 200k home can sit next to a 799k home all on the same city street or dirt road. In the Chi you would have to travel to see the nice, rich big homes (i.e. Olympia Fields)Before my husband and I decided to move to Ga we were looking for homes in Chicago. We always knew where the black folks lived. Not because of the yard up keep, or price of the house, but because of the car in the drive way. For some reason my sistas and brutha(black folks) judge their worth by their cars. Every home occupied by blacks drove Benz, BMW's and Range Rovers. While homes occupied by white people drove Toyota's, Mazda's and Jeep Cherokees. Now I'm not saying all blacks but a majority of the young ones put worth into things that are not investments.
Why do you have a 70-90k automobile but live at home or in an apartment? Why is your credit bad and you can't get cable in your name but you have on more bling than Marc Jacobs has in stock?
I saw a show on lives of Millionaires and they all shopped on clearance racks, drove modest cars and used coupons. You can't stay rich when you spend lavishly.

Why do we put our money into materialistic things when our kids don't even have college funds?
Are you an spending outside your means? Know anyone who is? Put em on blast! lol