Thursday, November 19, 2009

At Peace

6 years ago yesterday, Nov. 18, I lost my nephew to violence. He was only 22 at the time. God gives us peace in different ways. HE helps us to cope in whatever way we can, just to get through. Read how God worked with me in my nephew's guestbook. It was written for his birthday last year.



May 25, 2008


Ok, I thought time heals all wounds? That statement does not hold true for me. I thought the only pain I would endure was the pain of knowing you are not here. However, that pain has now magnified. Not only are you not here, I'm still in shock and confused. True the needle stick is not as painful, but the depth of it hurts all the same. I shed another tear for you last night. I remember when I first heard the news it was surreal. Unbelievable. 2 weeks before the funeral I had 5 dreams that you came back!! And for whatever reason it gave me comfort and peace. In my own warped mind, I thought it would happen. Seriously. I looked forward to the funeral because I didn't believe it. The sunday before the funeral I was at church hearing about the ones in the bible that were raised from the dead. I held on to that, just knowing that would happen. During the whole funeral I kept saying, get up! Get up! I couldn't pay attention to the service because I just knew you would get up. Praying and hoping that God would give the pastors power to make you get up! I told God if you did, I would not be afraid and that HE would get all praise and worship. But at the burial it hit. This was for real. You were not going to get up. That was the first time I almost had a panic attack. I think a part of me was loosing it. I still had dreams once or twice a month that you came back, and you were telling us how you felt different, and you were hungry. We were all hugging you and thanking God you were back. I had to get a grip. I prayed and asked God what does these dreams mean. The same kind of dream. I got peace when I realized that you were ok. The happiness and cheer we had when you came back, is the happiness and cheer that is happening for you in heaven. I have peace that you are ok. Not to worry about you. And the minute I stopped worrying, and came to that conclusion, the dreams stopped, the weekly tears stopped. God was telling me something. You will GET UP! We will see you again and it feels right around the corner. Finally my heart is at peace and I can rest. I will see you again!! I love you more than you knew.Weeping my endure for a night but joy comes in the morning!



Love Tia

7 comments:

Mizrepresent said...

I felt the same when i lost my brother a year ago...this year was different and now when i dream of him, he is always happy. There is one dream in particular where he was dressed in pastels, pink i think, lol, and he was so happy and bubbly, and he was moving fast, like he was busy, and asked him to stop, but he told me he couldn't...he had something to do for the big man...God is good, that dream gave me some peace.

Don said...
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Don said...
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curtiswilliamtrent said...

Powerfully written! The violence will only subside when swallow our pride, cease to hide, and let God abide...

Anonymous said...

please write more on issue of youth violence. preach it from the rooftops until it's really heard...

Tia's Real Talk said...

@ Curtis- Thanks sooo much for stopping by. This was the first loss that I've experienced that left me feeling like I will see him again very soon. It surely doesn't feel like it will take forever!

Tia's Real Talk said...

@ Anonymous - Thanks for stopping by. I try to bring awareness to many things in my blog.