Thursday, May 29, 2008

HAPPILY EVER AFTER



I have 2 friends whom are more like family to me. Forget "more like", they are my chosen family, and 2 very dear cousins whom this blog is dedicated to. These 4 very special young ladies are going to embark upon the happiest time ever! No not children! Marriage! I wanted to give them and any other newlywed woman some marital advice that no one told me about. These are things that I've come to learn and it has helped me. Now I feel I can spread the knowledge of what kept me sane for my soon to be 9yrs of wedded bliss! Trust, it didn't start out that way. We all know the usuals, be honest, sincere, trust worthy, blah blah blah. But here are a few other things that you should know. Being supportive. Note: being supportive does not mean you are suppose to like or love the thing you are supporting. Most people feel that they are one in the same. Wrong!! I treated it that way also. When I supported my better half........actually the support was few because I never quite like the ideas he had. Then I realized support isn't about liking it. I then realized that fact and started to support, but once I did, I stayed agitated because I felt he took my support tooo far. lol. So I again realized that I had to tell him. "Babe I support your decision, while I dont like it, I'll support you. However, this has to have a time limit." You don't have to support a decision for a life time. LOL..please let him know how you feel about it before you resent that same thing you are supporting. Second bit of advice, men vent too, so let them. They don't do it in an emotional way like we do. There's come out sometimes as if they are thinking out loud. Example, "oh baby I think I'm gonna open up a tattoo shop." If you are like me you are not too happy with that idea. But its ok..just listen and say nothing. You'll know if he is serious and if you should speak on it. Most men don't do half the brainy ideas they come up with. If he is actually taking the initiative to start looking into this idea he might be serious and you need to speak on it. Or, "baby I'm about to leave and go get a new bike." Ok that you might wanna speak on, that is reasonable and rationale..at least to him it is..speak on that ASAP if you do not agree. Moral of the story, you know your man. You know when he is serious. Let him vent, and just listen to his braniac ideas. You will know what to speak on. Choose your battles. It will save arguments and it will make you get the most SUPPORTIVE/GOOD LISTENER award of the year from your man!!!
I LOVE YOU LADIES AND I WISH YOU THE BEST!!!

2 comments:

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

marriage is the greatest compliment to god and family

Natarsha said...

Great advice. I am going to have to make a mental note of that in case I ever get married or in a relationship