Tuesday, May 11, 2010


I, for so long have hid my feelings that I am starting to question what are my true feelings. I have come to realize over the last 2 years that I am a sensitive person. Not to the affect of crying, but in the aspect that those I love and care for can affect me easily. I have suppressed a pain for so long, that now when it comes up, I'm feeling that I'm just being dramatic or emotional. I never let it bother me before but now, it does. I sometimes truly don't know if I am being dramatic or maybe it truly does hurt. I don't deal with hurt much. I have been great at getting over it or ignoring it.

One of my loves is acting. I have sometimes questioned if I am truly feeling pain, or taking on one of the characters from my plays etc.

I do know that I don't allow myself to feel pain like I should. I beat myself up when I get hurt or even cry. I feel like I need to "just get over it" and "suck it up". Since I've been an adult, no one has seen me cry. My mom saw me cry 2 times since turning 20 and hubby might have witnessed tears 5-10 times..but that's not much considering we've been together since 97.

I guess the moral of this story is no matter how much you try to hide from you, you always will find yourself and the real you will always come out! Just wish I would've let me be me a long time ago. But hey, better late than never. FOR MORE OF MY BLOG AND THOUGHTS, CLICK HERE.

1 comment:

25champ said...

Def feel u on this one. I put my feelings evenly placed in jar 4 years and 1 day all that ish came up at the sametime. I was always taught to move on so I just did exactly that, but what I've learned is that the inevitable is alwyz going 2 happen. As I get older I'm am doing better at being true 2 myself not necessarily crying, but just acknowledging how I feel about something.