HAPPILY EVER AFTER

I have 2 friends whom are more like family to me. Forget "more like", they are my chosen family, and 2 very dear cousins whom this blog is dedicated to. These 4 very special young ladies are going to embark upon the happiest time ever! No not children! Marriage! I wanted to give them and any other newlywed woman some marital advice that no one told me about. These are things that I've come to learn and it has helped me. Now I feel I can spread the knowledge of what kept me sane for my soon to be 9yrs of wedded bliss! Trust, it didn't start out that way. We all know the usuals, be honest, sincere, trust worthy, blah blah blah. But here are a few other things that you should know. Being supportive. Note: being supportive does not mean you are suppose to like or love the thing you are supporting. Most people feel that they are one in the same. Wrong!! I treated it that way also. When I supported my better half........actually the support was few because I never quite like the ideas he had. Then I realized support isn't about liking it. I then realized that fact and started to support, but once I did, I stayed agitated because I felt he took my support tooo far. lol. So I again realized that I had to tell him. "Babe I support your decision, while I dont like it, I'll support you. However, this has to have a time limit." You don't have to support a decision for a life time. LOL..please let him know how you feel about it before you resent that same thing you are supporting. Second bit of advice, men vent too, so let them. They don't do it in an emotional way like we do. There's come out sometimes as if they are thinking out loud. Example, "oh baby I think I'm gonna open up a tattoo shop." If you are like me you are not too happy with that idea. But its ok..just listen and say nothing. You'll know if he is serious and if you should speak on it. Most men don't do half the brainy ideas they come up with. If he is actually taking the initiative to start looking into this idea he might be serious and you need to speak on it. Or, "baby I'm about to leave and go get a new bike." Ok that you might wanna speak on, that is reasonable and rationale..at least to him it is..speak on that ASAP if you do not agree. Moral of the story, you know your man. You know when he is serious. Let him vent, and just listen to his braniac ideas. You will know what to speak on. Choose your battles. It will save arguments and it will make you get the most SUPPORTIVE/GOOD LISTENER award of the year from your man!!!

I LOVE YOU LADIES AND I WISH YOU THE BEST!!!

NO GREATER PAIN

Ok, I thought time heals all wounds? That statement does not hold true for me. I thought the only pain I would endure was the pain of knowing you are not here. However, that pain has now magnified. Not only are you not here, I'm still in shock and confused. True the needle stick is not as painful, but the depth of it hurts all the same. I shed another tear for you last night. I remember when I first heard the news it was surreal. Unbelievable. 2 weeks before the funeral I had 5 dreams that you came back!! And for whatever reason it gave me comfort and peace. In my own warped mind, I thought it would happen. Seriously. I looked forward to the funeral because I didn't believe it. The Sunday before the funeral I was at church hearing about the ones in the bible that were raised from the dead. I held on to that, just knowing that would happen. During the whole funeral I kept saying, get up! Get up! I couldn't pay attention to the service because I just knew you would get up. Praying and hoping that God would give the pastors power to make you get up! I told God if you did, I would not be afraid and that HE would get all praise and worship. But at the burial it hit. This was for real. You were not going to get up. That was the first time I almost had a panic attack. I think a part of me was losing it. I still had dreams once or twice a month that you came back, and you were telling us how you felt different, and you were hungry. We were all hugging you and thanking God you were back. I had to get a grip. I prayed and asked God what does these dreams mean. The same kind of dream. I got peace when I realized that you were ok. The happiness and cheer we had when you came back, is the happiness and cheer that is happening for you in heaven. I have peace that you are ok. Not to worry about you. And the minute I stopped worrying, and came to that conclusion, the dreams stopped, the weekly tears stopped. God was telling me something. You will GET UP! We will see you again and it feels right around the corner. Finally my heart is at peace and I can rest. I will see you again!! I love you more than you knew.Weeping my endure for a night but joy comes in the morning!

WHY DO WOMEN HATE!

Why do women hate on other women so much? If they see you as a threat or simply jealous, they tend to dislike you or "hate" on you. I think it all stems from insecurity. Not able to lift up others because of their own self-esteem issues. We have enough going against us by being a double minority, why fuel it more? Why do we care if a "brutha" is with a white woman? Is he your man? Why do we engulf ourselves so much with what someone else has or what someone else is doing? They say the grass is always greener on the other side, but I know that if you water yours, it too will be just as green. Personally we need to support each other. Remember that same female you are hating on might be the same female you need or just might be your inlaw one day. I know as a woman we all tend to feel a little self conscious at times, I think it's normal and ok. But when you start to let your hate control your being, control your day, or even control your view and outlook on things is just not healthy. I see a lot of woman that I admire, Whether it is their looks, or their life happenings. One thing I don't do is compare myself to others. We must realize that we are where we are suppose to be and it is all for a reason. The effort and the time put into disliking her is all the time and effort needed to work on you. If you see a woman who you admire. Let her know, compliment her. Take notes on how she got to where she is. Listen to her story and where she's been, and let her inspire you. Let her be your motivation for your life and goals.

"Hating" is not very becoming as a lady. If you find yourself "hating", check yourself, readjust and pray about it. Do self inventory on why you are having trouble being happen for others. Do you find yourself "hating" on others at times? Or are you "hated" on? Let me know where you stand.

CONFUSION

My heart is flooded with emotions
My eyes cry, my soul hurts
What has me feeling this way?
Maybe the fact that my babies
are leaving for the summer
the stress of moving or is it deeper
Knowing that we are living in the last
of the last days
I don't know, I write to release
release my heart, free my mind
hoping that the answer is revealed
hoping that once my fingers stop typing
and my heart stops praying
I'll feel better., I'll have answers...
Still typing
Still typing
Nothing....
No answers, just confusion
Not sure of my destination
or my journey, but aware of my past
and the road taken
Inspite of it all, I know where my strength lies
I will rest knowing my latter days
are greater than my first
I will rest comfortably

WHY DO WE CLUB??(look at clip at the end)

I am soooo done with clubbin. Not only because I'm a married woman that has no place there, but because it started to become tiring. Why do we club? To meet someone or jump off, to get drunk, show off our gear, or dance and have a good time? Well I was an innocent clubber..lol. I went to dance and give/get numbers. But I made a conscious decision to stop clubbing. I started to notice that clubbing was a waste of time, figuratively and literally so I started to hit bars. No not to drink but to play darts and pool. Absolutely loved it!! Well there is a reason it was literally a waste of time. Do you know the origin of clubs? Everything has a beginning. Clubs were a form of worship to gods. Witchcraft. The loud drum/bass beat and flashing lights were a ritual of praise and it was meant to steal time. Ever notice after leaving the club it seems like you were only there for a couple of hours but it turned out to be more like 4! My last clubbin experience was 2003 at the popular E2 night club in Chicago. I was there for less than 20mins when my cuz and I noticed it was just toooo packed! Now realizing I was really done now! All the time, money and preparation put into going and only stayed for 20 mins? The money on the outfit that now smelled like smoke, the money for my hair that is now sweated out. Not to mention being ripped off to get in and get something to drink but also disrespected for what I considered the last time by a "club dude". Glad I made the choice when I did because a few weeks later this featured clip is what happened at the very same night club that I frequented monthly! It made national new! In 2003 21 club goers were killed when they were crushed and trapped while trying to flee from the cloud of dust that was left by the pepper spray sprayed into the air. Look at the people who are crushed and trapped in the doorway. Again tell me why you club?
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YOU ARE THE COMPANY YOU KEEP!!

Ever wonder why you can't find a good man/woman? Or your friends are back stabbers? For the most part you attract what you are. Your attitude and aura is responsible for the company you keep. If you find yourself running into the same kind of folks then change your scenery. Do something different. Remember you can't get a different outcome doing the same things. Be more positive, uplifting and outgoing and those are the kind of people you will attract. Do some self inventory. Ask yourself what is it about you that attracts dogs and back stabbers, or what is it about you that makes people decide to run over you. Do you find yourself always down or complaining? Remember misery loves company, and not all the time do people want to be around such negativity. Also weak vulnerable people attract negativity because they are a foot stool for leeches. Another thing is to be more vocal about who you are, what you like, and what you will and will not put up with. You only pull in what you put out. Does this sound like you or someone you know? Do you need to take inventory of your own behavior?

SHE NEEDS PRAYER!

This girl was on Marta train in Atlanta harassing and elderly lady. She needs help and prayers. What would you have done if you were there?

THANK YOU ALL!!

I just want to thank all of you for your educational emails/BLOGS over the past year.

Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.

I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pass-time while driving alone is picking your nose, (although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot. )

Eating a Little Debbie sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom. Yuck !

I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl ( Penny Brown ) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put ' Under God ' on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.I no longer rece ive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica ,Uganda , Singapore, and Uzbekistan .

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there bya molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies due to their connections with/ownership by/you name it/ whatever!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...Have a wonderful day....

Oh, by the way..... A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discoveredthat people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

THE DEVILS MUSIC...HMMM??

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Remember being banned from listening to certain music because it is "the devils' music"? Well finally at the ripe age of 28, I get it. From a biblical stand point we all know that Satan was kicked out of Heaven. We also know that he was the chief musician. Well he still is!!!! His powers were never stripped from him. He is still the chief musician. What is his goal? To lure as many people as he can away from Christ. The easiest way is thru music because once it's in you, it can't get out. With TV you can close your eyes, with words you can simply stop reading. But with sound, you cant stop it unless you don't listen in the first place. Think of how music has transformed over time. Some say the enemy tried to lure us thru heavy metal. When playing some songs backward it has hidden messages. One popular message was to smoke weed. Which is why weed was so popular amongst the hippies. However it did not lure us blacks. So now he had to come up with ways to get us. It is said that Bone Thugs-N-Harmony sold their souls to the devil for record sales. On their first CD cover they have witchcraft on it. A message written backward, and the only way to read it is to put it against the mirror. However once this is done you are speaking it into your soul. We know the tongue is powerful. Remember God made the heavens and earth just by speaking it. Did you realize one of Jay-Z mix tape says "murder murder Jesus" backwards? Or that one of Snoops early CD's shows him in the hospital bed dead and coming back to life with Jesus spirit? Or when Wu-Tang had an animation on the beginning of their website that showed the "W" symbol slicing the head off of Jesus and a black hawk sucking out His soul and flying it over and placing it into them? Or the fact that Missy and Snoop have said they make their best music high. Hmm I wonder why? I wonder why their music is sooo much better while high. Because it's not them they are working under. Jay-Z calling himself J-hova. Come on now. And we at the club and concert throwing our hands up to J-hova then turn around on Sunday and throw your hands up to Jesus? Not right. All of this was brought to my attention by a controversial minister name G Craig Lewis. Hip-Hop hates him! He has a 3 or 4 part series entitled "The truth About Hip-Hop". And he speaks to teens all over the world. He will be here May 18 at Harvest Tabernacle in Lithonia,Ga.
Check him out and look at this clip. I know many won't like what I have said so feel free to respond.

Please let me know what you thought.