My True Identity

 

My Assignment- Find a picture of me between the ages of 8-10. (I found 2, I'm an over-achiever. 😜)

It was at this age where I was closest to my TRUE IDENTITY. My God given identity. I knew what I liked and what I didn't. I knew my interests and desires and pursued them. I knew what I wanted to do in life and where I wanted to be. I knew what I wanted and believe it or not, I knew my calling. But along the way something happened. THE WORLD HAPPENED. Teachers dulled me...parents gave me a reality check...friends told me to be different. Boys told me I wasn't enough. Social media said I was TOO MUCH. I will return to my birth right IDENTITY. My God ordained inheritance is connected to my TRUE identity; not what I've conformed into. I encourage you to pray and seek who God has called you to be.
#YourBirthRight #YourTrueIdentity #DrJolynneWhittakerMinistries

Opening Up....

Man... we all have those memories that we will NEVER forget. Those moments that change us forever. In July for the past 3yrs, I've silently replayed 3 days that I will never forget. The day my life changed, the day before it changed and the day I was rocked to my core.

But Today.... I will share.
Today July 24 is a very special heavenly birthday. My mother-in-love, 2nd moms birthday! Her life and passing has changed me forever.
The 1st pic in the yellow was july 1, 2017, the day before she passed. Carefree and happy.. I had no clue what awaited the next day. I was in Chicago about to meet with Anjee and Latoya for our annual girls dinner. I ended the day with Tanesha. These 3 ladies helped me get thru what was about to be the worst moments in my life.
The 2nd pic in pink was my birthday. July 18. 2017. The first time I really cried. I mean truly cried. I was depressed, mourning and experiencing chest pain from grief. My friend Katrina was in town and wanted to take me out for my birthday. What she didn't know is I made every excuse not to go.  I was too hurt to celebrate. How could I celebrate my life when one of the women I loved loss theirs? I broke down before and after this picture. But no one knew.
I used to pray for the day that I wouldn't remember, but also feared for the day when I would forget. Life's not the same, I think differently and move differently...not bad, just........different.
I've grown a lot. Im more open and vulnerable. I say what I feel and I'm true to myself. By doing this, I've been able to allow people to be there for me. You find out who your friends are when you let them in. I pray that God gives you ways to cope with life's challenges. He did it for me by giving me amazing family and friends that were instrumental to my healing and for that I am grateful.

Raw Emotions...

I haven't blogged in forever!! I usually try to format my writings so that it flows and is easy to follow and understand. But today...... who cares.
I am getting back to blogging for me. For my therapy, my sanity.  If it helps someone else, awesome! But if not, that's ok because tonight it's about me.
I struggle with vulnerability. Really letting people in to be there for me is hard. My mother in love passed last year and my life has not been the same. I think different, I move different. Not as happy as I once was. I pray that it's just a grieving process and that this too shall pass. However I will admit that I, for the first time allowed myself to be vulnerable to my friends. I broke down in front of a few of them and I actually felt better! I've never experienced allowing people to comfort me. It showed me that I truly have amazing friends!! For that, I'm grateful.
But when it comes to my health, sharing does not feel good. I dont like the way I feel when I talk about my MS. I dont like how it makes people worry about me or feel sorry for me. I don't like feeling like a Damsel in Distress. I don't like being looked at as if I'm handicapped or disabled. Talking about it, sharing what I'm going through especially during an exacerbation is very difficult. I can't talk about it without almost crying. I hate crying! It does not feel good at all. Not before during or after. Sigh... I guess it is what it is.

What is Fear??

Fear is carrying a beautiful baby girl for 9 months, only to not see her face.

Fear is trying to be strong for your family, because if you breakdown, they breakdown.

Fear is wondering if your condition is a deal-breaker for your husband.

Fear is the confusion and pain that is on the faces of your children when you try to explain what's wrong with mommy.

Fear is letting a video do the talking because you cant.

Fear is wanting to be back to the old you, even though she was broken too.

Fear is losing your independence.

Fear is having your independence taken away.

Fear is smiling and saying "I'm fine" when you're not.

Fear can be a scapegoat or misplaced emotions. Fear can be confusion...but in this case, I confused it with STRENGTH.

Random Thoughts

We never realize how all of the things we put so much stock into really doesn't matter. We measure success by the wrong scale. 'Things' don't matter. Money doesn't matter. Degrees...they don't matter. It's not until you are at the end of your rope, it's not until you wonder how you will make ends meet, when your money is funny and your change is strange. When you wish that you can provide more, have more..do more. But even in the midst of your struggles, when you can look at the faces of your children and know that they are happy. Even thru the struggles and lack of, they are happy!! It's at that point that nothing else matters and it's not so bad afterall. When your children are happy, you have made it! Now that's true success!!

DEAD MAN WALKING

Did you know most deaths occur around 25? Many of us have been gone long ago. We've stopped living, we've let fear and complacency strip us from living the life we were destined to. Take inventory today. Notice all of the things you won't do because of fear. F.E.A.R is just False Evidence Appearing Real. Your life, goals and dreams are on the other side of fear! Never let fear stop you. DO it anyway! Do it afraid! God woke you up this morning! Now go LIVE!!
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."

Can't Forget...

In 2006 my life forever changed when I was diagnosed with MS. I knew that a change was coming and I'm not talking about Obama (ba-ding ching)lol. I knew that physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, my life had changed and I needed to do something quick. I started a check list of everything I needed in a new career. My new diagnosis had wiped out the only thing I'd done my entire work career. I no longer had use of my fingers to type (numbness and dead)and my vision blurring prevented me from driving. I needed to be some where close so that I can walk if my vision failed, I needed something with one day off during the week for doctors appts, low stress environment and minimum typing duties. GOD IS GOOD because I found just that!! I received everything I needed. However, there is no such thing as the perfect job if you aren't the BOSS!!! Within 7months that job turned into the exact opposite of what I needed. It became stressful, I had to work everyday and some weekends, the location moved, the duties got greater and my raises and bonuses got cut!!!

School didn't teach me how to work from home with MY OWN BUSINESS! They didn't show me a plan B just in case life threw me a curve ball that I couldn't catch! When I was diagnosed with MS, none of my notes, books or tests prepared me for what I should do next. I've been in the medical field my entire life and in 6 months I could no longer do what I've always done! What I had thousands of dollars in student loans in. Every time I went to work, my MS would have me immobilized and debilitated. Couldn't see, couldn't drive, couldn't feel, and couldn't take care of my family. At one point I couldn't see my 2yr old's face, or my darling baby girl as a newborn. Thank God I had a family who was there and supportive. 

I was at my wits end! Then my cousin introduced me to Visalus Science and my life, finances, and health changed! My vitamin D deficiency...GONE!! 

In 2011 after a 6 month lay off and no income, Visalus kept us afloat.  I hit the position of Regional Director and was able to bring home the $1500 a month that was loss from my husband's pay cut once he returned to work. Not to mention I also have my very own paid for by Visalus BMW! I'm grateful for my time freedom, and the opportunity to be my own boss! I'm now living and not just existing! 

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

Thank You!!!

I thank you for loving me,
when I didn't love myself.

I thank you for forgiving me,
when I couldn't forgive myself.

I thank you for FAITH in you,
when I didn't believe in myself.

I thank you for my healing,
 in spite of what the doctors say.

I thank you for your compassion,
when my heart can sometime be cold.

I thank you for listening to my heart,
when my mouth can't find the words to say.

Continue to lead and guide me through my trials and through my storms, through my good and through my bad, through my happy and through my sad.

Be thankful and grateful everyone, for you are blessed!


♡♥♡♥ Happy Sunday!♡♥♡♥

"Chi City Youth"

Will you keep my city in your prayers?  It hurts....
I love my city and the people of Chicago but the children have gotten lost and left behind.  Babies are killing babies...OUR FUTURE is taking away OUR FUTURE. :( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HffBKbcnWls

Just For Tonight....

Dying is not a problem. We know it's a part of life. But it's dying before you had the chance to live is where the problem lies. People are still dying in Chicago right now! Everyone can't be saved because this is the hour that we live in. But I intercede for someone tonight, I stand in the gap for someone tonight. I pray that just for tonight, someone escapes death and meets JESUS while on earth! Everyone can't escape death, but I'm hopeful that maybe they can just for tonight. #Praying4MyCity :-(

My Boys Dancing

Check out my nephew Corey (the first dancer) and my son Tyler and Justin (2nd & 3rd dancers). I am very proud of them! Not only can all 3 of them dance but they can draw fantastically!!!!!! I am truly a proud auntie mamma! Show them some love!!

DON'T FORGET!!!

Don't forget that place of desperation. That mindset that you were in when things weren't looking up when you felt you had lost all hope. It was at this moment you declared things would change the next time you had the opportunity. It was at this moment you started to plan for your future you started your list of goals and dreams. Don't lose sight of that desperation, don't lose sight of those goals and dreams you've made for yourself just because a FEW sunny skies have come; because LIFE will happen to you again.

WHO DO YOU KNOW??

Obesity and poverty are growing at an alarming rate! And if Romney gets in...........it's OVER! lol I help people make money by promoting a 90 Day Health and Fitness Challenge! Who do you know that would like my help in make an extra $1500- $2000 a month and get a FREE BMW like me?  Who do you know that NEEDS to lose weight, get fit, get healthy, yesterday!?!?!?

GOT 90 DAYS??

See my video here

www.lovingmy.myvi.net

I have issues.....;)

So... I've been digging deep. Trying to figure out why I do what I do..why I like/dislike certain things. CONFESSION:: I HATE COOKING!!! I don't mind holiday cooking usual because I'm ready for it, being that I dont eat that type of food regularly. I could never understand why I'm quick to bake my meats and I'm always looking for quick simple meals (20 min prep). I am on a healthy cooking kick b

ut I've never liked standing over the stove too long, even before I cared about my health. THEN I FIGURED IT OUT!! I've been damaged. At the age of 4 I used to cook! A family member used to force me! I was standing at a chair over the hot stove making macaroni while the other kids were watching cartoons. I cooked everday while mom was at work. When I turned 8 a different family member used to make me prepare a meal all by myself whenever I came to visit! Needless to say when my mom found out I was banded from these homes. Now if I can just figure out why I hate shopping!! Hmphh

World's Largest Simultaneous Flash Mob - All Cities!

We had a ball!! The Body By Vi 90 Day Transformation Challenge made it to the GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS!!!! Check out THE CHALLENGE HERE!!

DECISIONS

This year has been one of great testimonies and grieve stricken trials, but through it all, GOD has kept me.  It's amazing how I can laugh and cry all in the same hour.  A host of emotions that I can't even bare to understand.
My plate is so full, so many expectations, goals, dreams to live for and some to make come true for others.  It's an honor to have those looking to you for answers and success.  But it is also a challenge.  I have chosen this life and sometimes I question my choices. 
Trying to be a good wife, trying to be successful so that I can do for my family what most will deem as impossible.  Trying to give my kids a FANTASTIC childhood.  My childhood was AMAZING and sometimes I fear that I'm falling short.  My childhood is a hard shoe to fill, and I want my kids to have what I had and more!!
If I tried to convey everything I felt into this post, it would be a 10 page spread.  So I guess in the condensed version, I have a lot of weight on my shoulders.  Sometimes I welcome it with open arms and other times I want to go into a quiet room and cry/scream!  All I can do is pray that I'm heading the direction that GOD has set forth and that my will is HIS WILL.
Many wish to walk in my shoes, but are you willing to walk a mile???  You want my triumph but are you ready to take on my trail?

1yr ago...........

A year ago my GYN sent me a letter about my vitamin D levels being really low and all the cancers that are caused by vitamin D deficiency. She had me purchase $80 IU 5000 vitamin D pills. 1yr ago my husband was laid off for 6 months!  When he returned to work, (THANK GOD FOR THE RETURN) he had to take a lesser paying position where he loss 1/3 of his pay!  1yr later, no deficiency and the pills are still in my cabinet, unfinished!! 1yr later, because of GOD directing us to Visalus, we are replacing the income that was lost! 1 yr ago I was a tiny 103lbs driving a Nissan. Today I'm 115 and driving a Nissan AND a paid for BMW!! A year from now, what do you want your story to be???? IT HELPED ME AND IT CAN HELP YOU TOO!

It's been a while.........

It's been a while since I've shared true thoughts and feelings here.  Just when I was learning to "write it out", life kicked in again and I went back to old habits.  Soooo much has been going on thats it's hard to find the time to sit down and write, write for me and my sanity.
During my hiatus, Ive learned a few things.  One, writing things down free's my mind and blogging free's the burdens.  I've also learned to practice what I preach!!
For months I've been helping people with different issues.  Offering advice, prayer and just being the ear to vent to.  Lately, I've found myself in some of the same situations that I've helped others about.  Not being one to ask for help or share whats eating away at me, I find myself having to go into 3rd person. I know it sounds crazy but I would have to keep asking myself  "why" until I got to the root of the problem. "Why are you hurt", "why are you angry".  And when I answered that question, I would have to go deeper and quetion WHY again.  And I would keep asking and keep answering until Ive gotten to the root of my issue.  Crazy, I know...but it works.  I've also had to give myself the same advice I would give someone else.  Sounds easy but we fail to do that.  I found myself asking myself..."If your sister/friend came to you with this problem, what would you tell them?"  Some times we have to step back and step out and see ourselves from a different set of eyes. 
So...even though I've been MIA...I'm still learning and growing!!

PS...I miss my blog friends. :(

WOW!!!

Love this video!! Not only has Visalus and the 90 Day Body by Vi Challenge helped serve 1million meals to children in need, helped 10million pounds dropped in 2yrs but 150,000 people are joining every month AND they are paying us to drive BMWs!! I have mine!! Let me help you get fit..get healthy...earn money and get a FREE PAID FOR BMW!!!!!!!!!! www.lovingmy.myvi.net 24 hr info line 507-726-3700 option 2!! Let's connect!!

I QUALIFIED FOR MY FREE BMW IN FRONT OF OVER 13,000!!!

WE ARE THE CHALLENGE!!!!
As you all are well aware, I have been promoting life, health and prosperity. When I was diagnosed with MS I went on the search to find something. Well, I found it! The 90 day body by Vi Challenge has helped me with my health, my friends and family health and weight, and the wealth of many! It's been soooo helpful I decided to not only take on the CHALLENGE but promote it also, and as a result, I qualified for my free BMW in front of 13,000 people in Kansas City MO.!!! 'I TOLD U SO'!!


We 'TOLD U SO'!!!!!!!!!!


Not much to say! The pics speak for it's self!!!


City streets for blocks were shut down and used as VIP parking for OUR BMW's!!


BMW's filled the streets!!!


My view from the escalators!!


Me and my ViDoll/teammate and close friend Shonda!

Nope....not photoshop!! Our swiper made it to time square!

We are crazy about our company!!!!!!!!!!

We will be in Miami July 13-15 and there is no space to accommodate us...so guess where we will be!??!!?!?!?!?!



Also, we will be performing a flash mob in a city near you April 21st at 3pm est. Wanna be apart of History!?!?! See "Carlton Banks" and the flash mob shock us by performing a flash mob routine out of no where in KC!!! By the way...Alphonso is one of many celebs who have taken on the CHALLENGE!!!