My heart is heavy and this is where I am speaking from so please bare with the possible ramblings. I usually have my words together and in order and precise, unfortunately it's my heart that's typing and not my head.
God has truly been dealing with me the past few months. He is answering prayers and showing me who HE is. I have interceded for many people. Cried and prayed for others, and one by one He would show me how He has brought them full circle. He would show me how He did exactly what I prayed for. I slowly started to think..."Hey, what about me?" I have prayed for things and it seems as though God was purposely showing me the blessings of others but ignoring me. I know better than to let a thought like that cross into my head and I called satan out for the liar that he is. It wasn't until I heard a soft voice say, "you have not because you ask not." I started to realize that God was only doing what I asked of Him, and He was showing me. However, I said , "you are doing for everyone but me". I guess feeling sorry for myself. I started to realize how many tears I've cried on behalf of others. How many times I've prayed and poured my heart out for others. Yes I have prayed for myself and have been brought to tears, but never like the way I cry and pray for others. I started to realize while I'm being a light and a vessel for and of Him, I COULD be leading myself to hell and others to HIM. I realize that I need to worry about myself, my salvation and my walk more than I care about others. One reason is because I can't get them there, I can only help myself, and lastly, how can you guide others when your path is questionable?
I realized my order was out of order. Even though my head and heart puts GOD first all the time. My actions said otherwise. My order was, business, husband, kids, God then myself. Over the last few weeks I have started to rearrange that. He's coming back ya'll and when He does He is looking for His spotless bride. I am trying to do all that I know I'm suppose to to make sure I am chosen. The earthquakes and tsunami's are all in HIS word. The government can't help, your dollar will lose it's value and that can't help you either. Saving money, storing food and underground bunkers will not shield you. It doesn't matter anymore. Work on your order. When He is truly first, you don't have to work so hard at other things. When He is put in HIS proper place, He will handle EVERYTHING!!!
Read your bible as much as you can....read it out loud since faith comes by hearing!! Pray for wisdom and for God to speak to you and give you wisdom, knowledge and understanding of Him and His word and all things concerning HIM and HIS will in your life. I pray that whomever reads this is taken to a higher level in HIM. I also pray that everyone who is reading this takes a moment to say a prayer for me...as I am and have for you.
Love you all.....
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