Sunday, February 14, 2010
PITY DATES!!
Why do we do it? Why do women settle and go out with those who aren't worthy of our attention? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we are God's gift. But why do we go out with men we do not like and have NO INTEREST IN??!?!
I was guilty of this way too many times. It wasn't until I met hubby that I stopped. That is why I stated in my last post that my marriage was a protection from something. I figured it out, a protection from dating loosers!! lol Don't get me wrong, they were all nice guys. But that was the problem, they were only "nice guys".
It took me a while to realize I deserved better than what I was letting entertain me. What I mean by "better" is not looks, but goals, ambition and character. The guys I dated felt a sense of entitlement because they had a cute face and money in their pocket.
My first pity date was a jerk!!!!!!! I was tricked!! He got my number when it wasn't meant for him. Then to top it off he was not nice on the eyes and he bought me lingerie the second time I'd seen him, on my birthday!! (the nerve)
Lesson to be learned, which is what I was taught by my mother...
"never go on a pity date, a man will be a man no matter what."
I guess I was expecting him to be nice since he had NOTHING else going for him! Here is what my first pity date looked like. NO LIE!!!!! lol
I was guilty of this way too many times. It wasn't until I met hubby that I stopped. That is why I stated in my last post that my marriage was a protection from something. I figured it out, a protection from dating loosers!! lol Don't get me wrong, they were all nice guys. But that was the problem, they were only "nice guys".
It took me a while to realize I deserved better than what I was letting entertain me. What I mean by "better" is not looks, but goals, ambition and character. The guys I dated felt a sense of entitlement because they had a cute face and money in their pocket.
My first pity date was a jerk!!!!!!! I was tricked!! He got my number when it wasn't meant for him. Then to top it off he was not nice on the eyes and he bought me lingerie the second time I'd seen him, on my birthday!! (the nerve)
Lesson to be learned, which is what I was taught by my mother...
"never go on a pity date, a man will be a man no matter what."
I guess I was expecting him to be nice since he had NOTHING else going for him! Here is what my first pity date looked like. NO LIE!!!!! lol
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Unexpected life Changes
I'm now the ripe old age of 30! I look back and I feel that there were a lot of things I thought I would do and have accomplished, and other things that I never saw coming. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. While I'm happy with my life, I am shocked by some of my choices and my decisions that have been made.
First and foremost, married?!? I said it would NEVER be me. I always thought I would have a boyfriend. I would let him spend the night over, and maybe even give him a drawer or two. But it was not going to be anymore committed than that. I saw myself as more of a free spirit. I would have a great career, and travel the world, with my girls and by myself. Don't ask me why I never had an interest in a love life. I was not the "male bashing" kind. I just wasn't interested. I'd noticed that the guys were always a tad bit into me more than I was with them. How did I always manage to find the clingy ones?
You could not have told me that I would met someone at 19 and know he would be special. I knew he would be the one, one day. That one day turned out to be the following year.
Married, with a baby, out of my parents home and living in another state all in 6months!
Where was that career and travel plans I had? Where did it go?
But as I look back, I realize that I am right where I am suppose to be. Me getting married young was my protection. My protection from the world. I have had many pity dates, went out with people I didn't like all for the sake of them being nice or not wanting to hurt their feelings. I've learned that that is dangerous and not a good thing to do!!! (I'll have to write about that disaster another day).
All in all, you are where you are suppose to be for a reason. Your plan for your life and God's will is very often on two different pages. Be grateful for the things you do not have because it is a reason for it.
Even though I didn't travel and get my career goals established before marriage and babies, but I can say now that I'm having the time of my life doing it all!! Even if it's not in the order I thought it would be.
First and foremost, married?!? I said it would NEVER be me. I always thought I would have a boyfriend. I would let him spend the night over, and maybe even give him a drawer or two. But it was not going to be anymore committed than that. I saw myself as more of a free spirit. I would have a great career, and travel the world, with my girls and by myself. Don't ask me why I never had an interest in a love life. I was not the "male bashing" kind. I just wasn't interested. I'd noticed that the guys were always a tad bit into me more than I was with them. How did I always manage to find the clingy ones?
You could not have told me that I would met someone at 19 and know he would be special. I knew he would be the one, one day. That one day turned out to be the following year.
Married, with a baby, out of my parents home and living in another state all in 6months!
Where was that career and travel plans I had? Where did it go?
But as I look back, I realize that I am right where I am suppose to be. Me getting married young was my protection. My protection from the world. I have had many pity dates, went out with people I didn't like all for the sake of them being nice or not wanting to hurt their feelings. I've learned that that is dangerous and not a good thing to do!!! (I'll have to write about that disaster another day).
All in all, you are where you are suppose to be for a reason. Your plan for your life and God's will is very often on two different pages. Be grateful for the things you do not have because it is a reason for it.
Even though I didn't travel and get my career goals established before marriage and babies, but I can say now that I'm having the time of my life doing it all!! Even if it's not in the order I thought it would be.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Your actions influence the heart, not persuasion....
Sometimes when we are in love we tend to try and make the other feel the same. But one thing we must realize is the more we try, and the harder we persuade, the further we will push them away. You win the Heart of your Lover by letting them go, by giving them the room to CHOOSE to be with you. Actions will influence the heart. What you do and do not do, will have a huge impact on the heart of your lover. The best way to get them to feel the same way is to let them know how you feel for them and then give them time to reciprocate the feelings.
DO NOT CHASE HIM LADIES!!
No man wants a needy, desperate woman. Don't you want a man that thinks of you even when you haven't called him? Don't you want him to pursue you more than you are pursuing him? If leaving him alone does not bring him closer to you then he wasn't the one for you from the start.
Leaving him/her alone will make one of two things happen:
OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND
or
ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER.
All in all, He that finds a wife finds a good thing. God will bring him/her in your path when HE has finished preparing him/her for your destined, pre-approved meet. Be patient, not desperate, do not settle and most importantly, WAIT ON THE LORD!!!!
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