Sunday, December 20, 2009

What if......?


What if you and your partner had been dating since college. You've always known that you two would get married and be together forever. Shortly after college you two wed and start a family. Everything is going great, just a few issues here and there but nothing to be alarmed about.

You are 40yrs old and 15yrs into the marriage when one day you meet a total stranger that made your heart skip a beat. It was a random encounter, you would see him/her often but never spoke. Until one day your paths crossed and just from a simple grocery store conversation you felt sparks! Yes, they are attractive but this is more than attraction. You haven't even felt this feeling for your spouse. You reluctantly race to the grocery store everyday in hopes of seeing him/her again. Unbeknown to you, she/he is doing the same thing. Conversation leads to dinner, and more dinners to follow. Before you know it, you are having an affair!!! You have never even looked at another man/woman before but it was something about him/her that was irresistible. It has been a year into the affair and you are realizing that it was not lust, he/she is the one. Do you leave your spouse to be with your soul mate? Or, do you cut off the affair and work on your marriage? You did promise, "til death do us part". What would you do?

9 comments:

SLC said...

This may be a dumb question, but who actually get's promised, God or the spouse? If a person feels they made that vow to God, they may find it harder to split. I'm sorry for not answering your question yet, but I'm still thinking. Hmmmmmmm.

SLC

Tia's Real Talk said...

@ SLC- That is not a dumb question at all!!! I actually like the complexity of it. I think the promise is to both. You made the promise to your spouse in front of God, so HE is in the promise too. It's kind of like asking a young lady's father for her hand in marriage. You promised him that you will always love and be good to her, so I think they both have the right to hold you to it. Agree? What do you think? Thanks soooo much for stopping by and I hope to see you again on my little blogspot corner.

SLC said...

Thanks Tia. Now back to your question. I would have to stick to the vow. I wouldn't try to stay because of the children, I would try to stay because I fear the long lasting impact on my relationship with God. I'd probably pray that Regina Belle song, "Make it like it was, the way it used to be, when I hungered for your love constantly....

Tia's Real Talk said...

I feel like "Family Feud". Good answer, good answer!!!! lol. Great decision and very respectable SLC. It's nice to know that a man while stay and honor his vows and try to make it work, even if he loves someone else. Not many think like that.

Don said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tia's Real Talk said...

Very impressive. Most men don't see that it's cheating until they have slept together. Nice to know that you realize it's emotional cheating before it ever became physical. Emotion is terrible. You can give away your body and get it back, but when your heart is gone or given away, thats the hardest to recover.

FYI- My male readers are on facebook. I have my posts automatically posted to facebook the minute I write them. So don't get to comfy. Say hello to my newest friend SLC. (inside joke SLC, he assumed I didn't have ANY male readers but him..ha! the nerve. lol)

Don said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Reggie said...

Wow excellent blog!!!

I think the time to really stop and think about right or wrong was when she is running to the grocery store to intentionally run into Mr. Wonderful, that's the time. After a year of having the affair all promises to God or your spouse or whomever are off anyway. At that point, perhaps you should just do what you want to do; particularly since you've been doing it for a year anyway.

Promises are like babies; easy to make, hard to deliver.

Tia's Real Talk said...

@ Reggie- Thanks for stopping by. I am pleasently surprised by all of the great advice coming from you guys. Guess my hubby isn't the only good one left. Thanks for your input.